Anna Sidis, Child Psychologist speaks about Normal Behaviour in Adolescents. 

[ReachOut.com]

[Anna speaks]
Many parents worry about their adolescent’s behaviour and wonder whether or not this is part of what they should normally expect from that phase in their lives or whether it might be something more serious, like a mental health issue. 

So when we're looking for certain behaviours in an adolescent  to try and determine whether or not it might be something serious or whether it's normal adolescence, we differentiate between a couple of things. Stress, for example, is a really normal and healthy response to an adverse circumstance or something that's demanding. For a young person who is struggling with exams, or is having difficulty with peers, or maybe going through a breakup we would expect a stress response that might see somebody more distressed, more tearful, more irritable or more anxious. A lot of these things are normal and what we look at is how quickly the young person recovers from that experience or that behaviour.
If you see something where they're acting differently, but it's happening for a longer period of time, than we might start to wonder whether or not there is an underlying mental health issue. For example with anxiety it's also really normal experience that we all get to have and we all go through phases where we feel nervous about things that are occurring. But when that anxiety stays and doesn't go then we need to ask ourselves whether or not there might be something else going on.
It might also be the case that their level of anxiety is stopping that young person or adolescent from doing the things that they normally do. Does it make it harder for them to attend school? Or complete homework? Does it mean that they're staying away from friends they would normally spend time with or engaging in other activities that they usually enjoy. Where it's getting in the way of their functioning we will be looking at this maybe being a problem. 
Similarly with depression, we can expect an adolescent to show us that they'll be low in mood sometimes, they'll struggle with things sometimes, that they'll be grumpy at times. But if that starts to have a severity that means that they don't go out, that they don't enjoy the things that they used to do - and this is happening for a period of two weeks or more - then it might be worth seeking the advice of a professional. 

[What parents can do]
If your adolescent is already accessing professional support, there are many things that you can do.  Simply being there and spending more time with your adolescent is a really important part of helping them adjust and learn the skills they'll need to learn to get through this difficulty. The other thing that's important to think about with an adolescent, is to try and connect with them on an emotional level rather than trying to fix the problem. Thinking about how you can engage with what they're feeling. So, for example using terms like “I can see how this must be upsetting for you” or “I don't blame you for being angry” making that initial emotional connection can help the young person feel like they're not alone in facing what is quite an overwhelming experience. Once you've managed to do that, then you can start to connect with them around problem-solving or figuring out how they can do better in what they're dealing with.

[Importance of authenticity]
So one of the things adolescents often speak with me about, is the importance of authenticity. They are very good at picking up social cues and they tend to know when we are not being a hundred percent honest with them. Being clear and direct with your young person about what's happening in their lives and what's happening in your life, can be a really important way to make sure that they feel heard and understood and to make sure that they feel like they're being taken seriously. There may be many aspects of a young person's behaviour that we don't understand or doesn’t make sense to us. It's important to try and reserve judgment. A young person can feel really destabilized or upset by our judgments that may not be obvious to us, but can feel obvious to them and can feel quite hurtful - particularly for young person who's just figuring out how to assert their identity. It's really important to pay attention to your own responses, your own reactions, and how difficult it is for you. In these cases, it's important to get your own support and spend some time doing the things that help you to relax. When you're calm and relaxed, it helps the young person feel confident that whatever they're going through can be managed with your help. 

[What can parents do: Taking them to and from appointments, Understanding confidentiality]
There are some practical things that parents can do to support their adolescent who is accessing treatment. Some of that includes being able to take them to and from an appointment, but also understanding that confidentiality means you might not be able to hear about what happened in that therapy appointment. As a parent, you might also be asked to monitor a young person's medication. And this is important particularly if you have a young person who has talked about suicide or where there's a concern around self-harm. Otherwise, it just might be important to make sure that that young person is taking the medication as prescribed - so that the doctor can ensure that they’re getting the right dose and that what they're taking is working for them. 
Many parents struggle with knowing what to do when their young person is facing a mental health issue. It's important to consider that where you can be most valuable is in connecting with the young person and cementing your relationship with them. When they feel like they’re supported and they have a good relationship with you - it gives them hope and security in being able to manage what is a very difficult time.


[ReachOut.com]
This video was produced with the help of 90seconds Productions on behalf of ReachOut Australia.