Text on screen: Ask the experts: parties and teenagers


Cath Chapman:       
My name is Cath Chapman, and I work at the Matilda Centre for Research in Mental Health and Substance use at the University of Sydney.


Text on screen: What are the first steps? 


Cath Chapman:       
Whenever they're invited to a party, you're going to want to ring the parent who's hosting the party and you're going to ask questions about what time does it start and finish, will there be adult supervision, will you be supplying alcohol at the party? A parent of a 16 year old said to me recently that he and his peer group of parents actually take turns when someone's having a party. They take turns in finding the parent who's hosting the party, because the idea is that they pass the teenage embarrassment around, and they share it around, but that the rule is that the young people are not allowed to go to the party until the parents have got that information and are happy about it.


Cath Chapman:       
So one of the things that's really important when you're talking to your teenagers about drugs and alcohol is for the conversations to be as open, and as calm, and as non-judgemental as possible, and that when you ask a question, be prepared for any answer, even one you're not happy with, and that can be really hard as a parent, because you think, okay, I know what I'm going to say. I've got my question. I'm going to ask such and such, and you ask it, and then you get an answer that completely throws you, and sometimes it's hard to remain calm.


Text on screen: How can parents approach setting rules? 


Cath Chapman:       
Research has shown that it is an important thing, and in fact, there's a really interesting series of studies looking at shared sets of rules around alcohol use and around parties among peer groups. If a group of parents get together and say, look, we're not going to supply alcohol at parties, or the curfew for when you go out to a party is going to be 11:30, and you speak to other parents, and they say, okay, that's what we're going to say as well, it's far easier to enforce if there's six or seven parents saying, right, the curfew's 11:30. Then talk to your teenager about it. In consultation with them, around what the rules might be, and explain that the rules and the guidelines are there to keep your child safe. You want them to have their independence, you want them to have fun, but you want to keep them safe, and that's what they're there for.


Text on screen: What do we do if our teenager comes home intoxicated?


Cath Chapman:       
If you're teenager comes home, and you think that they've taken something, they're wasted, or they've been drinking, it's really natural to feel concerned and to feel angry. It's not a good time to start having a conversation about why you don't want them to use drugs. It's probably a good time to try and find out what they took, or when they took something, make sure they're okay, make sure they stay hydrated, and look after them. The next day's probably a better time to have the conversation about what happened and about what the consequences might be.


Cath Chapman:       
But let them know that if they are concerned, they can call you. They can talk to an adult at the party, they can call you. If they're really worried, they can call an ambulance. One of the things that happens for young people when they're in a situation where someone's taken a drug or someone's been drinking underage, or they've been drinking themselves, but they're worried about a friend, they don't want to call an ambulance, because they think they're going to get in trouble, or they think the police are going to get called. But in most instances when paramedics are called to a situation like that, the police are not called. The most important thing is keeping the young person and their friends safe, and that's the most important thing.


Cath Chapman:       
Another thing that is really important when your teenager is at a party is be available, be contactable, have your phone switched on, and be prepared and able to drive and pick them up if something goes wrong, or if they call you and they need to get out of there.