[ReachOut.com] [Richard, Father of Roxy] >Richard. My name is Richard. I have three kids and I’m here talking about Roxy. Roxy had anorexia when she was 14. It was a pretty tough time, for her and for everybody else. [Roxy] >Roxy. I’m Roxy and I’m 17 from Sydney, Australia. It escalated quite fast and it was a really vicious cycle. Because the more weight I would lose, the more happy I would be, but the more weight I lost, the more upset I would be with myself. [Michelle Sperling, Clinical Psychotherapist] >Michelle. I am Michelle Sperling and I am a clinical psychotherapist and I’m the manager of the recovery support services at The Butterfly Foundation. A lot of people who are experiencing eating disorders are often in denial or ambivalent to getting support. And often this can go unrecognised. >Richard. I was kind of in denial a little bit I must say. My wife was much more onto it and very pro-active who recognised that it’s, it’s like, you know, it’s an illness like any other kind of illness. She got professional help which was a psychologist. It was kind of like a life and death situation. And you just stop everything for that. >Michelle. [Signs to look out for: lack of energy, changes in behaviour with food, rapid weight loss or weight fluctuation, black-and-white thinking.] So for parents there are some signs that they will need to look out for would be; a lack of energy, changes in their behaviour, and their relationship with food, rapid weight loss or changes in weight or weight fluctuation, rigid thinking – the ‘black-and-white’ thinking. >Danielle. Hi, I am Danielle. I was 19 when I was diagnosed with an eating disorder - anorexia nervosa. Before I knew it, the distorted eating and over-exercising just took control. So I was starting to do things like label foods ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I was really rigid with my eating. Ummm, I had to eat at certain times every day and it just controlled my life. It just became a really toxic way of thinking and it created a real tension in the home. >Roxy. A lot of kids do it secretly, so I feel like the most important thing is tell your parents because they will be the ones who need to take control. >Michelle. [Things for parents to remember: reach out and communicate, talk about emotions rather than physical appearance, recognise it will take time, remain calm and non-judgmental.] Some really helpful things to remember is to reach out to the person, to communicate with them, to talk about their emotional state rather than their weight, shape or appearance. To also, not want to instantly change any behaviours or fix the problem. And to remain calm and non-judgmental. Things we suggest to avoid to parents is to be critical or to try and find a solution for the problem. Rather, give an open space where somebody can come and talk about it. >Roxy. The moment I spoke to someone who I knew was there for me, a weight is lifted off your shoulders because it now no longer is just you dealing with this but there is someone to guide you along the way. >Michelle. Initially speaking to a GP or a health professional is a really important first step for carers. The treatment for eating disorders often involves a multi-disciplinary team – of a GP, a therapist and a dietitian. It’s not a one-size fits all approach. >Danielle. My therapist was obviously great, but my dietitian was, just created this amazing environment where I felt in control. Because it was my choice. Go home and try in one week to have a yoghurt. And there was never a ‘you have to have it every day’. It was step-by-step. I felt empowered when I did it once. >Roxy. I learnt a lot of mindfulness techniques. You imagine a river and you put the thought on a leaf in the river and you just watch it float away. My psychologist would always say to me, you know, when you have that voice in your head telling you ‘You’re too fat, you can’t eat that, you are fat, you are fat’ just that constant voice you have to just stop and say, ‘That’s not me, that’s not my voice, that’s the eating disorder talking. That’s her talking. It’s not me.’ >Richard. Jump onto it. If in doubt, get onto it straight away. People don’t realise how severe it is. And think they can maybe work around it, and they can take shortcuts and it’ll be OK. I don’t think you can risk it. You can’t have a conscious ‘life as usual’ and continue on and support someone like that. It doesn’t work. If it was life or death – and you think of it like that - you will do anything to save a child. >Michelle. It is really important to say recovery is 100 per cent possible. The process and recovery journey is not a linear one. It is up and down. Getting the right support is paramount. So, as an adjunct to the treatment process, Butterfly offers a suite of programs and services for those experiencing an eating disorder. [The Butterfly Foundation, 1800 334 673, thebutterflyfoundation.org.au ] [ReachOut.com]