Clare Rowe, Child Psychologist speaks about Effective Communication with your Teen. 

[ReachOut.com]

[Clare speaks]
So lots of parents come and ask me about how to effectively communicate with their teen. And I start off by reminding parents that in a lot of ways teenagers are no different to previous generations! I asked parents what they were like as a teenager and if they can recall.

Young people today essentially  feel misunderstood and they feel as if their parents have no idea about the planet that they living on - and as a parent you probably agree with this!
In order to have effective communication we need to try and bridge that gap.

[Bridge the gap]
And that involves parents putting on hold some of their feelings and opinions and views and trying to enter the world of their teenager and trying to understand things from their point of view.

[What can you do]
In terms of having a quality and effective communication with your teenager there are some simple things that parents can do. So, the first thing you even though you feel like you're completely on different planets to each other, try to approach it at the right time.

[Approach at the right time]
At a time when people are angry and defensive is not the time any one is going to sit down and have a rational conversation about a subject. So let's pick a time that everyone's calm and we can approach this with minimum emotion as possible. The second thing parents can do, is always start off a conversation by trying to understand and then validate how your teenager is feeling.

[Understand and validate]
So this is really important, even if you don't agree with how they feeling, you don't have to have the same views and opinions. And just by a teenager feeling like they've been heard and their feelings validated, they are going to start feeling like they're in a safe space to open up further.

[Start the conversation]
OK, so you've set the scene and you've acknowledged how your teenager feels and hopefully now your child and you are sitting down and about to have a conversation.

So there are a couple of things that parents should remember in terms of the language that you choose to use during this conversation.

[Ask: Open-ended questions]
Using open-ended questions is always great. Because it shows a genuine curiosity for your child, and your willingness to try and understand their life, and their experience. 

[Avoid: Demanding tones]
Try to avoid language that tells them how they should feel and tells them how you think they should behave. This is going to create defensiveness and attacking. And try, where possible, not to talk over each other 


[ReachOut.com]
This video was produced with the help of 90seconds Productions on behalf of ReachOut Australia.