Clare Rowe, Child Psychologist speaks about Your Child, the Bully. 

[ReachOut.com]

[Clare speaks]
As a parent if you have found out that your child is being a bully it can be a really confronting time. Full of confusion and often can provoke a lot of anger. One of the things that I try to emphasise to parents is to stay calm, but let's try and figure out why your child is acting like that. 

[Why children bully: Feeling helpless, Family breakdown, Being bullied themselves, Peer jealousy, Prevention against bullying] 
Children bully for a whole host of reasons. One of them might be that they feel helpless in a different situation, such as a family breakdown or perhaps they’re being bullied themselves. Other reasons why teenagers may bully include peer jealousy or prevention of others bullying them. Parents often ask me how do they know that their child is being a bully? And one of the things I like to tell them is that there are no clear warning signs - so don't spend time beating yourself up as a parent or blaming yourself. If you are worried about your teenager, you can do things like monitoring their communication with their peers. Watch how they socialise; are they dominating the conversation or are they being manipulative? These all might be clear indicators that your teenager is experiencing some social difficulties. 

[If you child is a bully: Stay calm, Don’t overreact] 
If you have found out that your child is being a bully, try to stay calm and try not to be too overprotective or defensive - particularly if this information is coming from another child, a parent or even the school. 

[If your child is a bully: Keep an open mind, Listen to what they have to say]
Try to keep an open mind and listen to what they're telling you. The next step for parents to try and support their child, is to sit down and have an honest conversation with them. Try to gain some understanding of their experience and why they're engaging in such behaviour. After speaking with their child I try and emphasise to parents that whilst they may try and understand the emotion behind the bullying behaviour this should not be used as an excuse.

[Boundaries and Consequences] 
Teenagers just still need to have boundaries and consequences to their choices in behaviour. So this may include things like removing a mobile phone off your teenage daughter when you hear her gossiping. It can be really hurtful  when you find out that your child is the one doing the bullying, but if you approach this in a collaborative way with them, as well as finding some boundaries and some consequences, you can minimize the impact. If it does continue however, you may want to seek out some professional support. 

[ReachOut.com]
This video was produced with the help of 90seconds Productions on behalf of ReachOut Australia.