Gavin's experience helping his daughter with depression

We first noticed the signs of mood changes in our eldest daughter on a
holiday when she was 15, going on 16, from being this vivacious, very happy,
always smiling, to being withdrawn, very poor sleeping. 

Normally she'd be very active and want to go surfing when she was at home and want to participate in cooking dinner and, you know, what we're doing as a family, but it was an effort for her to do that and you could see her making the effort so to disguise the changes that she was experiencing. But we noticed it.

What did your daughter's journey to recovery look like?

It was a discussion we had as a family - she wanted to see someone for
professional help. We arranged through the school, which was fantastic, because she was still in a boarding environment. Going back to school to have the school counsellors meet with her on a regular basis. 

With the diagnosis of depression the psychologist came to us with that diagnosis coupled with a path. We chose to investigate alternatives and we chose an alternative, went back to the psychologist, gained her support.

When you see your children go through really dark periods, it weighs so heavily on you. It absorbs everything you've got. To actually understand it is a very difficult thing and don't beat yourself up about not understanding it. Try and support that loved one going through in the best way that you can.

How did you cope during this time?

If you're not looking after your own self, you cannot help anyone else.
Personally, I've always been active - surfing, swimming and being outdoors.
I just continue to maintain my own, you know, good health and exercise routine. You almost want to make it an appointment with yourself, to walk around the block, to do something where you have your time.

How is your daughter doing now?

Our daughter's doing incredibly well. She has a broader community of loved ones and people that support her. To keep a balance in their lives, both daughters exercise and it's a routine for them. So, they're very healthy, strong, young women. They eat very well, they know the nutritional value of a healthy diet. 

Once they've left school and, you know, they're earning their own keep and they do have their own lives. So you you step back from a true parenting control role to being very much a, you know, 'we're walking this path with you, we're going to support you and we're here when you need us.'

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