Ross Jacobs, speaks about Sexuality. [ReachOut.com] [Ross speaks] Sexuality is a really complex thing for young people to navigate. Because, often, their early thinking about sexually happens in complete isolation. So they're aware of their own sexuality, or their emerging sexuality, often a lot earlier than anyone else. And it's important to keep in mind that there's a big difference between sexuality and sex. And sometimes what happens for parents is that there's confusion between those two things. So they think that if their young person is talking to them about sexuality that it necessarily also involves talking about sex. When actually, that might be the last thing the young person wants to do. Because it's embarrassing - they don't wanna talk to parents about sex alot of the time! Sexuality is actually just about who they're attracted to. So who it is that they're feeling romantic feelings for. For them to go through a process of self-exploration is really important to open up, because they're seeing their peers do similar things when it comes to attraction. But when you're a gay young person or lesbian young person, it feels like it's not safe to do that stuff. We know that when school is a safe environment for young people, and a supportive environment for young people to talk about or explore their own sexuality, that the mental health outcomes a much better for these young people. When you stop to think about the important role school plays in the life of young people, it's not just a place that education happens, it's a place that social education happens in social exploration with other young people. If that's a safe place for them to talk about emerging sexuality - or even think about emerging sexually - we know that it reduces loneliness and isolation - which are two of the major risk factors for young people's suicidality or thoughts about hurting themselves. If your young person has come out to you as gay, lesbian or bisexual, you might be the first person they've ever told that to. Or you might be the tenth person they've told that to, and there's no way to control that part of it. But what you can control is your reaction to them in a moment of disclosure. [Reaction is important: Do not undermine of dismiss] What we find is that is not useful to say things that you think might be useful - such as ”Oh, I already knew that you would gay” or that “We've known for years that you were a lesbian” - because effectively what you doing there is undermining that young person's own journey. So for them, the moment of disclosure is a really important moment, and that they are leading you into their world. And for you to say “Oh, we already knew”…. or something like that is a real diminishment of the fact that they've been struggling with this for a long time. If you think your young person might be exploring their own sexuality, or are struggling with their own sexuality, but they haven't yet come out to you, it's important that you respect that young person’s own process. [Respect their process] So,it's rarely ok that you don't get on the front foot yourself and directly ask them that question -because that's pretty confronting for young person. That might be a scenario that works for you, based on your own family, and your own dynamic with that young person. But, it's often better to put forward suggestions or introduce into topics that the fact you’re ok no matter what it is they say to you about their own sexuality. [Suggestions: Watching films that explore sexuality, Talking about other familiar people] That might be watching films together. That might be talking about family members or neighbours or other people in your life, that your young person is familiar with that might also be an out gay lesbian or bisexual person. They might even be able to talk to those people for support if they need it. But if talking about sexuality something that isn't comfortable for you and you've got your own judgments perhaps about not wanting your child to be gay lesbian or bisexual – we’d suggest you have that conversation with professionals first. Because it's not your child's responsibility to take care of your own concerns – they’re going through enough. When a young person explores their sexuality, that doesn't mean it leads to poor mental health outcomes. There is no relationship between being gay or lesbian or bisexual and depression and anxiety and feelings of suicide. Where those outcomes can happen, is when young people don't feel supported or when they feel like going through their sexual exploration by themselves. And other people are not accepting of what it is that they're feeling. Just be aware, that where, and when, and who to come out to, is your child’s right - and they'll do it in their own time. Your role as parents, is to be aware of where they can get support if they need it and when they need it. [ReachOut.com] This video was produced with the help of 90seconds Productions on behalf of ReachOut Australia.