Lisa - Hayley wanted to go to the movies by herself and I think she was around 12 at the time. 
Hayley- I was in Grade Six and my friend was moving so we wanted to hang out and watch a movie together. 
Lisa - It was a big deal because in the past, I've always gone to the movies with my children but I sort of at the same time recognised that I have to start to give her a little bit of independence so, I let her go to the movies with some friends and the deal was that I would drop her at the door and I'll pick her up from the door at the end and she was, and the rules were that there was a shopping centre right next door and you're not to go in next door to the shopping centre, you're to stay where you are and I'll pick you up and drop you off. 
Hayley - So we got there and there was a couple of the girls who weren't really invited, they were just related to some of the other ones. They were making a fuss and they kicked them out and then, some of the girls in my friendship group got kicked out for the wrong thing and so, then we all just left because like, we didn't want to deal with that. 
Lisa - An hour and a half later, I get a phone call from a distressed Hayley. 
Hayley - They all decided to go to the shopping centre because the other one, one of the girls cracked it, so, but mum told me not to leave the cinemas. She said she'd drop me off at the door and pick me up at the door. 
Lisa - The rest of the group decided to go next door to the shopping centre and Hayley refused to leave even though, they were kicked out. Refused to leave the theatre and didn't go next door with the kids and didn't leave because she was told she wasn't allowed to leave. 
Hayley - I stayed there and called her and said, "oh well, we're in a bit of trouble, please help, come here." 
Lisa - She was really upset about the whole situation and initially I felt that way too. I was upset but when I went to pick her up, on the way to get her, I thought, "well, she's done everything I could ask her to do." 
Hayley - I was really scared, I thought she was gonna crack it at me. Like, "what did you do?" and so then, she picked me up, we got in the car and she said, "oh, I'm really proud of you." like, you did what I said and all that. 
Lisa - She didn't go next door, she's contacted me straightaway, so even though it maybe didn't go as well as it could have, what she showed me was that she could make some really good decisions and kept safe and was still aware of what the boundaries were, so I was really pleased with that. 
Hayley - I didn't want to get in trouble and like, cause any trust issues between mum and I. We already had a good relationship, so I didn't wanna accidentally ruin a bit of that. 
Lisa - You need to give them some trust and give them opportunities within reason, without putting them at risk but, and then only, sort of, rein them in I guess, if they're doing the wrong thing. 
Hayley - It feels like I'm getting more trust from my mum because now I can do these things now. Like now I can take the bus to places and hang out with my friends. 
Lisa - We talk it through together and sometimes we just have to compromise. Sometimes it's a bit compromised, I will let you go to this party where there's alcohol, but you're not allowed to drink for example, Hayley's only 17. There are parties that she goes to now where there's some of the kids are older, so it's about, yeah you can go there but this is where the boundaries are, you can't drink alcohol, you can't go elsewhere, you need to be picked up, so it's hard to make those decisions because I still worry about her in those situations.