- Hello my name's Paul. I'm from Brisbane.
- Hi I'm Thoma. I'm 17. I'm in grade 12 at school. 
- We've been open with her, my wife and I and she's probably hated our oversharing. 
- I'd say the biggest thing that helped me with dad is he didn't tell me what to do. He was just there to support me and more guide me I guess instead of really forcefully saying you need to do this or you need to not do this. 
- We watch movies like Mean Girls and other films where you know there's good guys and bad guys. 
- Dad will come home from work and talk about the people that he dealt with and I don't know. He just told me how he dealt with people I guess. 
- So you come home from work and you've had a bad day and you talk about the particulars of it. 
- When my mom and dad tell me about their own experiences it helps me distinguish what I should do. 
- You bring those tragedies and triumphs with you in the way you see the world and I like to talk so I probably can't help but cover my daughter in words and experiences that I had. 
- I try to think of their situation and how they dealt with it so if it's anything similar I can say well how did they deal with it and then I can think how should I deal with it. 
- When something comes up at school you know you'll say to your child is that the way friends should behave to each other? Do you think that's right? What are your possibilities or what could you have done or what should they have done maybe is what we've said. You know what should they have done? Don't be a policeman or a plumber. Don't police and don't fix. Just listen. I think for men that's difficult to not wanna provide a solution or to say you should've done that. 
- I think it's been less guidance and more like I'll tell them what's happened and he'll just say like yes, good job. You're doing the right thing. So yeah more moral support. 
- 'Cause if they're gonna come to you and you're gonna police them or fix the plumbing you know offer a solution, then maybe they're not gonna come to you. So for me probably just being able to listen.