Supporting your trans teen: Chase and Sarah’s story

See how Sarah supported her son, Chase, to come out as trans. It was a learning process for Sarah, but she was open-minded and followed Chase's lead. Their relationship has really improved and Chase is now living as his authentic self.

Read the transcript

"I realised that, you know, it's not really the gender. I didn't lose my child, I still have my child, yeah. But he's just his authentic self now, so it's better."

What we learnt from this story:

• For Sarah, who had never even heard someone being trans, her son coming out came with some grief at ‘losing’ her child. At the same time, she couldn’t believe that her child had been going through this for the past 14 years of his life.

• Chase and Sarah got support through local support groups, where they met other trans young people and their parents, and were able to chat and learn from each other.

• Chase also got support from his school psychologist, who he was able to talk to about whatever was going on for him.

• Sarah’s approach to supporting Chase was to listen to him and follow his lead. She put a lot of effort into using his correct pronouns – at first, she would slip up sometimes, but she kept trying really hard. She showed him a lot of love and support as she knew that whatever she was feeling, it was a hundred times worse for Chase.

• Sarah’s relationship with Chase has improved a lot as now she knows the real Chase. They still do the same things, like going on road trips together, and talk about the same things. Sarah has realised that the gender of her child isn’t what matters – she still has her child but he’s his authentic self now.

• Chase really appreciated the support from his parents when he was coming out and knows that he’s been lucky. He believes that it’s what got him to where he is today, and made him the person he is today.