The effects of domestic violence on teenagers

If you or your child are in immediate danger, call 000.

If your teen has been exposed to domestic and family violence, it’s natural to worry about how it’s affecting their mental health and wellbeing. Read our guide to what domestic and family violence looks like, how it impacts young people, and what you can do to support your teen during tough times. 

What is domestic and family violence?

Domestic violence refers to violent, abusive, intimidating, coercive or controlling behaviour between two people who are, or were, in a relationship. 

Family violence describes the same behaviour within family relationships, including between parents or carers and children, siblings, intimate partners, or other close relatives. There are many types of domestic violence, including emotional, financial, spiritual, social, legal, reproductive abuse. It can also include stalking and neglect.

How might a teenager experience domestic violence?

There are many ways a teenager can experience domestic violence, such as:

• experience violence and abuse themselves

• witness violence or its consequences (injuries, distress, damaged property)

• hear about someone’s experience of violence

• play the role of carer, protector or supporter of someone impacted by violence

• live in a violent home or are regularly in a violent environment.

Even when not directly involved, the stress and fear from their exposure can deeply affect them. Teens may feel scared, confused, or alone and might struggle to understand what’s happening around them.

What is the impact of domestic violence on teenagers?

Exposure to domestic violence can have significant and long-lasting impacts on a teen’s wellbeing. Common ways that their emotional distress can manifest include:

• anger, aggression and lashing out

• trouble sleeping, nightmares, bed wetting and chronic tiredness

• anxiety, depression and panic

• alcohol or drug misuse

• self-harming behaviour

• difficulties with school 

• avoidance of social situations or avoiding home.

Every teen reacts differently, but exposure to violence always shapes their sense of safety.

How can I support a teenager who has been exposed to domestic violence?

The best thing you can do is create a safe, understanding space where they feel heard and valued. Be an open and unconditional listener, allow them to participate in seeking professional support and making safety plans.

Here are some ways you can help:

• Let your teen share their feelings and experiences at their own pace. Avoid rushing to fix things or dismissing their emotions.

• Let them know support options are available to them.

• Don’t speak negatively of abusive family members, but let them know that violence and abuse are never okay.

• Maintain routines as much as possible and reassure them that they are safe.

• With their input, seek professional advice and support. Sometimes talking to a counsellor or therapist who understands domestic violence can make a big difference.

• Model positive relationships by being respectful and not aggressive when interacting with others.

• Help them get involved in things that they enjoy and that boost self-esteem and mental wellbeing, such as hobbies, sports, and regular exercise.

• Where possible, keep them safe from violence.

Healing takes time, and your consistent support is one of the most valuable things you can offer.

Supporting someone impacted by violence can be upsetting. Know that you don’t have to do it on your own. You can call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for information, counselling and referral. Remember that you are better able to support when you feel supported yourself.