Image-based abuse: What to do if your teen’s nudes are shared

Image-based abuse (IBA), which includes leaking someone's intimate content, is a serious crime. Unfortunately, it's still a common experience for teens. IBA can be really distressing for both the victim and their parents or carers. Learn some practical ways to support your teen to recover from image-based abuse.

Why do teens share nudes?

Sharing intimate images or videos, commonly known as nudes, is a form of sexual behaviour teens might engage in. As they explore romantic relationships, teens might be drawn to sharing nudes as a way to flirt, to express affection or to experiment with their sexuality.

Learn more about sexting, nudes and teens.

What is image-based abuse?

Like with having sex, sharing nudes should be based on affirmative consent. Both the sender and the receiver need to agree to the nudes being shared and how they will be handled, including who gets to see them. 

‘Image-based abuse’ refers to the criminal act of sharing (or threatening to share) nude or intimate content of another person without their consent.

Types of image-based abuse

IBA commonly looks like someone sending the nude content to another person through text message or in a group chat, or leaking it online by posting it to social media or another website.

Threatening to share a nude with others is also a form of image-based abuse and could be a sign of coercive control. Threatening to share nudes unless the person does something for you in return is a form of blackmail called sextortion.

AI image-based abuse (or ‘deepfake porn’) is a fairly new phenomenon involving the use of sexually explicit deepfakes. A deepfake is a fake image or video created by overlaying someone’s face or body into the content using AI tools. Get more information about deepfake porn from the eSafety Commissioner.

Find more examples of image-based abuse on the 1800Respect website.

Why does image-based abuse happen?

There are many motives for image-based abuse. Some common ones include:

• intentional bullying of the victim

• attempting to control the victim (e.g. preventing a break-up by threatening to share the nudes)

• peer pressure from others to share the nudes

• attempting to hurt and humiliate an ex-partner (commonly known as revenge porn).

IBA can be perpetrated by anyone – friends, ex-or current partners, workmates, strangers, people your teen has met online, or even family. eSafety research shows that perpetrators of IBA are typically someone the victim knows personally. Also, it doesn’t just happen between teenagers. The perpetrator could be someone older or in a position of power over your teen.

How to talk about image-based abuse

IBA is often seen as a ‘fair consequence’ of sharing nudes. It’s important to remember that IBA is a crime and a form of abuse. It is never the victim's fault, and experiencing abuse shouldn’t be considered a normal consequence of engaging in a common sexual act. 

The responsibility for preventing IBA doesn’t fall on the person who has shared their nudes, but there are ways to practice safe sexting. Learn more about teaching your teen safe sexting habits.

Taking the time to explain image-based abuse to your teen (in a way that doesn't victim-blame or create fear) will:

• help them understand consent and their rights

• help them deal with unwanted peer pressure

• encourage them to come to you for support if they experience IBA

• remind them that it’s not okay to share intimate images of others.

Here are some examples of how you could bring up this conversation with your teen:

• ‘I’ve seen some stories about leaked nudes in the news lately and wanted to chat to you about it. Do you think we could read the story together and share our thoughts?’

• ‘I read an article about AI-generated nudes and it was the first time I’d heard about it. Do you know much about it?’

Responding to image-based abuse

If someone has leaked your teen’s nudes, your first reaction might be shock or anger, but try not to direct this on to your teen. They are likely already feeling a mix of emotions such as fear, stress or sadness, so try to stay calm and focus on what you can do to help them. 

Support their recovery

• Provide reassurance: It can be devastating when someone breaks our trust, so your teen is likely feeling scared, embarrassed or ashamed. Reassure them that they’re not at fault, and that it’s okay to feel hurt by this experience.

• Encourage them to talk to someone: Talking about the situation with people they trust can help them to feel less alone. If they’re not comfortable talking about it with friends or family, or if they need extra support, they could speak to a counsellor anonymously through 1800 Respect. 

• Take a break from technology: Disconnecting from digital spaces can help reduce the amount of stress your teen is feeling, especially if their images were posted online. This guide has some practical tips for spending less time on social media.

• Emphasise self-care: Help them take their mind off the situation by encouraging them to practise self-care or by doing some activities together. 

Get more tips on how to support your teen in our youth resource: What to do if someone leaks your nudes.

Report the image-based abuse

• Report it to the platform: If the images have been posted to social media or another website, see if your teen has been tagged and get them to untag themselves. Then report the content to the platform it’s been posted to. If the images haven’t been posted but someone has contacted your teen online and threatened them, you should still report their messages. Most social media platforms and other content-sharing sites have a help centre with instructions on how to do this.

• Report it to the eSafety Commissioner: eSafety is the regulator for online safety in Australia. They can also help you and your teen to deal with threats or to get their images taken down. Read all the steps on how to report image-based abuse on the eSafety website.

• Prevent the content from being shared: Free services such as Take It Down (under 18s) and StopNCII (18 and older) can help you to block the content from being shared on certain platforms.

Managing your own response

While it can be hard to think of your teen as a sexual being, it’s important not to shame them for engaging in a common sexual practice. They’re not responsible for the abuse occurring, and neither are you. The only person at fault here is the perpetrator.

Here are some tips for how to manage your response to your teen experiencing IBA:

• Be vulnerable: It’s natural to have a strong emotional response, but getting angry or upset with your teen may make them feel even more isolated and ashamed. If your response has upset your teen, clear the air as soon as possible by owning your reaction and apologising if necessary.

• Lean out: Express your feelings to your partner or a trusted friend instead of to your teen, so your teen can focus on their own recovery and emotions.

• Seek support from your teen’s school: Find out if the school has a counsellor or a teacher with a keen interest in wellbeing. Teachers are incredibly experienced in the issues young people face and can be a great support for parents. They can also keep a discreet eye on your teen, which can be an extra safety net if you're worried about any long-term impacts of the IBA.

• Reflect on your response: Ask yourself where your strong feelings are coming from. This can help you to understand your emotions and to regulate them appropriately when talking to your teen. Do this with a professional (such as a counsellor) if you find yourself struggling. This is especially important if you’ve also experienced abuse.

• Be kind to yourself: Experiences of abuse can have a ripple effect on loved ones. Make sure you take time out to care for yourself. This will help to give you the strength you'll need to support your teen.