Getting professional help for your teenager

Whether it’s a relationship break-up, bullying or exam stress, tough times can knock your teen off track. When they’re struggling, a mental health professional is a great support to tap. Not only are they trained to be gentle, non-judgemental listeners; they’ll also work with your teen to help them build healthy habits and develop strategies to ride out life’s rocky patches. 

It’s normal to worry that bringing in a professional will intrude on private family matters or imply that you’re failing as a parent, but really, the opposite is true: part of being the best parent you can be is knowing when to connect with the extra help that’s out there. Here’s our guide to recognising when your teen needs professional support, finding support that’s right for them, preparing them, and knowing what to do if it doesn’t work out.

What kind of mental health professionals are available?

Mental health professionals specialise in different areas. Knowing what kinds of help are available will enable you and your teen to find the best fit. Different types of mental health professionals include:

• psychologists

• psychiatrists

• school counsellors

• occupational therapists

• youth and social workers

• peer workers

• addiction counsellors.

Each type of specialist is trained to give advice on different aspects of your teen’s life and to work with your teen to help them deal with whatever is troubling them so that they feel better. Share this guide to the different types of mental health professionals with your teen so they can explore the options at their own pace. Help isn’t something that happens to them; since it can only work with their cooperation, it’s important that your teen has a say in who they want to work with.

Signs a teen might need professional help

Some common clues are:

• your teen seems unusually distant, tearful or irritable

• they’re avoiding school, friends or hobbies they normally enjoy

• there are noticeable changes in their diet, sleep habits or energy levels.

These things can all be temporary, but if they persist for two weeks or more, it’s probably a good idea to get some support. In this video, psychologist Anna Sidis explains how to tell the difference between typical teenage behaviour and something more serious.

Video transcript.

How to prepare your teen for professional support

Here are some ways to support your teen in taking ownership of their mental health journey:

• Start a conversation. Ask your teen how they’re going. You could approach the subject by saying something like: ‘You haven’t seemed like yourself recently. What’s on your mind?’ Show them that you’re listening to them without judging them: ‘I don’t blame you for feeling that way.’ Validate their worries and ask if they’re open to talking to a professional.

• Research the options available to them with your teen. Go online or book a GP appointment to connect your teen with a mental health professional they feel they might connect with. This could be someone of the same gender or with a similar cultural background – whatever makes your teen feel comfortable.

• Prepare them for their sessions. Encourage your teen to note down what they want help with. Meanwhile, you can handle the appointment admin, like investigating Medicare rebates (or NDIS funding if your teen is neurodivergent, for example) and getting a mental health care plan. 

• Prepare yourself. Your teen will be talking to a stranger in private about personal topics, including family life, and this might be a difficult thing to deal with at first. (Remember: it’s all confidential unless your teen is at risk of harm.)

• Monitor their progress. After each session, chat to your teen about how it went. Respect their choice if they’d rather not share – remember, it’s about them. Congratulate your teen on taking a brave first step, and remind them it’s okay to switch professionals at any point.

Hear from mum-of-four Lisa about how she got help for her daughter during a rough patch – in this case, through the family’s GP. 

Video transcript.

What if seeing a professional isn’t helping?

Know your options

It’s possible that your teen won’t click with the first (or even second or third) mental health professional they try, which can be frustrating for both of you. However, try not to see this as a failure. Reassure your teen that it’s fine for them to keep looking until they find the right fit. 

You can try a combination of professionals, from psychologists to psychiatrists, behavioural therapists and some occupational therapists. If your teen finds face-to-face interactions hard, they might prefer telehealth, web chat or SMS sessions. These can also be handy options if you live remotely.

Extra support:

• Peer workers. These trained professionals are close to your teen’s age and have been through similar challenges. Find them on PeerChat, a free, one-on-one, text-based service from ReachOut. Learn more about peer work.

• Online communities. Anonymous chat platforms like eHeadspace have dedicated spaces for young people, including First Nations young people, the LGBTQIA+ community and adult carers. The digital mental health service MOST also offers a safe online community your teen can tap into.

Try to be patient

It may take a few sessions with a professional before your teen starts to feel better, so remain positive and don’t lose hope. If your teen is also having doubts, your positivity will likely rub off on them.

If your teen tells you they have a problem with their mental health professional, take this seriously. In the unlikely event of a therapist acting inappropriately, you can make a complaint to the regulatory body, AHPRA.

Stay open-minded

It’s important to be open to the mental health professional’s advice and to trust that they have your teen’s best interests at heart – even when what they say isn’t easy to hear.

In some cases, they might recommend both therapy (here’s a guide to the different types of therapy) and medication, which can bring up feelings of guilt about medicating your child. This is a totally valid feeling, so ask questions about the types of medication out there and any potential side effects. 

Always be up-front with your teen at every step. Remind them that taking medication is nothing to be ashamed of. Part of your support could be helping your teen to take the medication as prescribed, which is particularly important if there are concerns around self-harm.

Remember that you’ve got this

Once you reach out for help, you’ll probably feel relief that you’re taking positive steps towards helping your teen thrive again. But it can still be an overwhelming process for both of you. Remember to look after yourself, and don’t forget to tap your own networks – whether it’s family, community elders or professional help – whenever you need support. This journey is one that you and your teen are taking together.