The effects of domestic violence on teenagers
If you or a child are in immediate danger, call 000.
What is domestic and family violence?
Domestic violence is violence that happens in a relationship. It can be physical, but also takes many other forms. Domestic violence affects everyone around it, whether they experience it directly or witness the violence or signs of violence.
Domestic and family violence:
happens when one person in a relationship hurts another or makes them feel unsafe
has a pattern of control, where ongoing abuse stops someone from feeling free to live life as they choose
is not just physical – it can also be emotional, financial, spiritual, social, legal, reproductive, and can include stalking and neglect
can happen in any kind of relationship — not just with partners, husbands and wives or boyfriends and girlfriends (intimate partners)
can happen in any location, not just the home
How might a teenager experience domestic violence?
There are many ways a teenager can experience violence. They may experience it themselves, witness it happening to someone close to them or see it in the community. They may have a friend confide in them about experiences of violence at home.
A teenager will be impacted by violence if they:
experience violence and abuse themselves
witness violence or its consequences (injuries, distress, damaged property)
hear about someone’s experience of violence
play the role of carer, protector or supporter of someone impacted by violence
live in a violent home or are regularly in a violent environment
What is the impact of domestic violence on teenagers?
Even when they are not experiencing violence directly, exposure to violence puts teenagers at risk. They may engage in risk-taking or self-medicating behaviour, this is often to block out bad memories or numb emotional pain. Trying to stay away from the home may put them in unsafe situations. Having to take on adult responsibilities for themselves or younger family members can create emotional and psychological burdens.
A teenager may respond to these impacts of violence by experiencing:
anger, aggression and lashing out
trouble sleeping, nightmares, bed wetting and chronic tiredness
anxiety, depression and panic
alcohol or drug misuse
self-harming behaviour
difficulties with school and disengaging from school
avoidance of social situations or avoiding home
What can I do to support a teenager who has been exposed to violence?
The best thing you can do is provide them with a positive adult-teenager relationship. Be an open and unconditional listener, allow them to participate in seeking professional support and making safety plans. Find ways to create opportunities for positive and trusting relationships.
Other things you can do include:
ask how they are feeling, focus on listening and let them know that you are fully there for them
let them know there are support options available to them
don’t speak negatively of abusive family members, but let them know that violence and abuse is never okay
with their input, seek professional advice and support
model positive relationships by being respectful and not aggressive when interacting with others
help them get involved in things that they enjoy and that boost self-esteem and mental wellbeing, such as hobbies, sports, and regular exercise
where possible keep them safe from violence
You can find some resources to help you through this on our Things to Try page.
Supporting someone impacted by violence can be upsetting. Know that you don’t have to do it on your own. You can call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for information, counselling and referral. Remember that you are better able to support when you feel supported yourself.