How to help young mob manage study stress

This comic was produced in partnership with Studio Gilay. Words by Phoebe McIlwraith, a Bundjalung Githabal and Worimi Saltwater dubay/galbaan (woman). Phoebe is a journalist and content producer based in ‘Sydney’.

Doing well in assignments and exams can be an exciting challenge for young mob, as these tasks mark steps along the way to completing a term or a school year. But study can be proper stressful, too. 

As a parent or carer, you’re in a good place to help your teen through these times. Learn more about the impact school, study and exams can have on your young ones and, like we see here with Aunty Maggie and her nephew Mundarra, identify ways you can support them to take time out, have some fun and manage their study–life balance.

Download a transcript of this comic.

Study stress can be paralysing

Knowing that something needs to be done within a set timeline, like an assignment, can be motivating for your teen. But as due dates creep closer, sometimes that feeling can get intense and overwhelming. This hyper-awareness can even reach a state of analysis paralysis, making it difficult for them to get started on their tasks and to make decisions.

Being in this headspace can fuel big feelings of stress, anxiety and shame that might prevent them from tackling a task feeling confident and positive. But making time for things outside of study can break this cycle, helping to shift their mindset and improve their overall wellbeing. 

Here’s how you can help your teen to manage study stress: 

• Be aware of important dates that are coming up, like exams and assignments, and make sure you know how they’re feeling about them. Get tips on how to make a study schedule with your teen.

• Take time to observe their mood, to see when they might be wanting support.

• Check in with open-ended questions about how they’re feeling. This can give them a chance to yarn about an assignment/studying and share how they’re going. Here’s some more tips on yarning with your young ones about their social and emotional wellbeing.

Cut through shame and offer support

Being Shame, or feeling shamejob, can play a part in the anxiety and stress a young Blackfella might be experiencing. They might be wanting to look strong, to make their family proud and avoid disappointing them; feelings that can keep them overly focused on a task, even when it’s not helpful. If your young one is feeling this, here are some tips you can share with them about how to cope with shamejob.

While it’s important to give your teen the space to navigate obstacles, having someone close in their life (like you) to look out for them and offer support can ease any feelings of shame they might be experiencing. It can also provide the approval they might need to challenge those feelings.

It can take time to figure out the best way to approach the subject, but these conversations with your young ones are well worth it. They will provide opportunities for you to:

• show them that you and others value their wellbeing and creating deep connections with them

• encourage them to re-engage with their friends and hobbies as ways to feel connected and to have fun

• remind them that there’s life beyond assignments and exams, and how important it is that they keep a balance between their studies and other aspects of life 

• challenge any unfair expectations they may have placed on themselves.

Downtime is self-care proper

Having a proper downtime can help your teen feel more emotionally centred and mentally refreshed. Essentially, it’s a form of ‘self-care’, which is a way to describe the conscious actions we take to look after our social and emotional wellbeing. 

For some teens, this looks like having a relaxed day at home watching their favourite TV shows. For others, it’s going out on Country or engaging in a cultural practice. Or it could just be about spending time with mates in a favourite spot. 

You can support your teen to do this by encouraging them to get back into their hobbies, or by changing their responsibilities around the house so that they have more time and space to dedicate to downtime.

Celebrate small wins (aloud!)

After prioritising fun and the things that make them happy, your teen will likely be in a better headspace for tackling challenging tasks. However, they might still hesitate, worrying that their progress isn’t good enough or feeling that you don’t understand their efforts.

This is why celebrating small wins is so important. It boosts their confidence in their schoolwork and shows your appreciation for their efforts. And celebrations don’t have to be elaborate! Simply saying things like, ‘I’m proud of you, bub’, ‘I see how hard you’re working’ or ‘I believe in you’ can be really powerful – validating their efforts and helping them to overcome any remaining shame they might be feeling. 

It’s about showing up and showing care

Being a teenager isn’t easy, and supporting one isn’t that much easier! Sometimes there are layers of feelings to navigate, but these won’t begin to be broken down unless you’re making time to show up and demonstrate care and consideration.

Even if your teen doesn’t tell you how they’re doing at first, just taking the time to observe their feelings, to remember the big events in their life and to reach out to them opens up so many pathways. It’s all about showing them that they’re seen, and that you’re walking alongside them while they figure out what fun, self-care and balance looks like in their life.