Support your teen to deal with peer pressure

Peer pressure is a really common challenge for teenagers, whether it’s subtle group expectations or more direct invitations to engage in risky behaviours. In this video, mum Lisa and her daughter Hayley share how building confidence and communication skills have helped them tackle peer pressure together. 

Watch their full chat below or read on for more practical advice.

Video transcript.

Tips for helping your teen resist peer pressure

Teach them what peer pressure can look like 

Help them build their self-awareness and recognise the signs so they can act. If they express some difficulty fitting in with their friends, you can say things like:

• ‘Do you ever feel like you can’t fully be yourself around them?’

• ‘What do you reckon happens if you disagree with them?’

This way, they’re not caught off guard when something doesn’t sit right.

Teach specific ways to say ‘no’ in the moment

Give them some simple (and creative) ways they can decline something they don’t want to do, such as:

• making a joke out of it

• giving a valid excuse (‘I’ve got a match tomorrow, need to be sharp.’)

• suggesting a better plan (‘Let’s go kick the football in the park instead’).

• simply saying ‘no thanks’.

Help them experiment and find something that feels natural for them.

Keep communication open 

Create a safe, non-judgmental space where your teen feels comfortable sharing what’s going on. You could start a conversation by asking a curious question, like ‘What do most people at your school think about vaping?’, or referencing something you’ve seen in the media or on a show. Having relaxed conversations about their life makes it easier for them to come to you when they face peer pressure.

Work on building their confidence

By building up their self-esteem and trust in their own decision-making, it can become easier for them to speak up for themselves or walk away when they’re in an uncomfortable situation. Check out our guide on how to build self-confidence in teens.

Agree on an exit strategy

Decide on an exit strategy your teen can use if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe. This could be a private signal, a phrase, or even an emoji they wouldn’t normally use.

If they do call or text for help, focus on praising the fact that they reached out, not punishing them for where they were or what they were doing. If they know you care more about making sure they’re safe than getting them in trouble, they’re much more likely to contact you when they need to. 

Encourage them to think about their friendships 

Discuss what makes a good friend and encourage your teen to reflect on whether their peers respect their choices. Questions like, ‘Would a real friend pressure you into something you don’t want?’ help to build awareness. Learn how to talk to your teen about bad friendships.

Help them build a support network

One way to reduce the pressure from a single peer group is to make sure your child has multiple sources of support and belonging. Encourage involvement in sports, clubs or community groups to diversify their social circles. When support doesn't rest on one set of relationships, setbacks with friends can feel less overwhelming.

Step in if they’re struggling

Watch for warning signs like:

• being anxious about their social plans

• sudden changes in behaviour or personality

• being more secretive, isolated or distressed

• risky or bullying behaviour

Stay calm, ask open questions, and seek support from a professional like a school counsellor or psychologist if needed.