Self-care for parents and teens

Self-care is a great way to manage everyday pressures. For busy parents, it helps in maintaining the energy needed to take care of your family. For teens, it’s an important way of building resilience and navigating the ups and downs of adolescence. 

This guide explores how to make self-care a practical, positive part of your family's routine.

What is self-care?

Self-care is anything you enjoy doing that helps to support your physical, mental and emotional health. It's about consciously taking time to recharge, and it doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming.

Self-care can be as simple as having a long soak in the bathtub, going for a run, having a meal with friends, spending time on a hobby or playing sports. It's often the small, simple things that make the biggest difference to our sense of wellbeing.

For families, embracing self-care can help everyone manage life’s challenges in a more positive and rewarding way.

Why self-care is important for both parents and teens

Self-care helps parents to replenish their physical, mental and emotional energy. When your tank is full, it’s often easier to be patient, present and engaged. By prioritising your own self-care, you’re also modelling healthy habits for your children and showing them that looking after their wellbeing matters. 

Teens are navigating a lot of changes, so regular self-care is just as important for them. In this video, psychologist Anna Sidis explains how the intensity of adolescence can affect young people, and describes how engaging in self-care can help to reduce their stress.

Video transcript.

How to make self-care a family priority

It can feel really difficult to prioritise self-care when time, energy or money (or all three) are in short supply. But there are some simple steps you can take right now to lay a good foundation. Remember: self-care adds up, like coins in a jar – every 5 or 10 minutes spent on self-care helps to build positive habits over time.

Work out what recharges you and your family

Self-care looks different for everyone. What works for other families might not work for yours, and what works for you might not work for your teen. Start by talking as a family and having everyone answer these questions individually:

• What activities make you feel good and recharged?

• What would you like to do more of?

• What would your ideal day look like, and what activities would you do?

Commit to making time for your self-care

Once you have your self-care ideas, treat these activities as priorities rather than optional extras. The following are some ways to prioritise self-care:

• Add your individual self-care plans to the family calendar. 

• Be realistic. If a hike in a national park feels impossible, could you commit to walking or running for 10 minutes a day at your local park?

• Use 'dead time' productively. Listen to a podcast during your commute, eat lunch outside in the fresh air, or walk to the shops instead of driving.

• If scrolling or binge-watching TV is leaving you feeling drained, free up a bit of that time for the things that make you happy.

• Encourage everyone to think of self-care as one of the last things to drop when time is short, not the first.

• Be honest about how much time you need in order to feel the benefits of your self-care. Some people need more time than others, and that’s okay.

Get support

Back each other up! Tell each other what you’re doing, and when, and encourage everyone to help and support each other. For example, you could:

• swap chores, so that someone can go off and do the self-care activity they'd scheduled

• ask for help from other family, friends and neighbours

• use local services, such as after-school care, to create a window for your own self-care.

Reflect and adapt

Schedule a time to see how everyone’s doing. At the beginning, when you’re figuring things out, a more frequent check-in (like once a month) might be needed. Once you get your bearings, you can scale these check-ins back to suit you. 

If something isn’t working, try tweaking it: 

• Would a different time of day work better? Earlier in the day can be easier, because it’s hard to stop what you’re doing once your day has started.

• Would a different day be better? What feels great on Saturday morning might not work on Monday afternoon.

• Encourage your family to keep at it. Be clear that you value self-care and will always support them in being able to do it.

In his time with the Air Force Roulettes, Flight Lieutenant Allister Berryman learnt a lot about the value of checking in with yourself and the people around you, as well as about incorporating self-care habits like mindfulness into your daily routine. Watch his video below for ideas on how to adapt these practices so they work for your family.

Video transcript.

Self-care ideas to get your family started 

Self-care can be quick and simple, or something you plan ahead for. Some activities you enjoy may cost a bit, or take time, but self-care is just as likely to be about the free things, too. 

Physical self-care

For a quick boost, you could walk the dog, use a workout app or YouTube video, do a simple stretch routine or spend 10 minutes soaking in the tub. If you’re looking to make a bigger commitment, try joining a local sports club or gym, getting a full massage or manicure, or doing a fun run/ride.

Mental and emotional self-care

A small thing you could do for yourself could be listening to some music, watching a film or sports match, spending some time sitting outdoors, or giving a friend a call. Bigger self-care ideas could be going to a gig, show or game, making plans to meet friends at a cafe, or planting a window box. 

Creative and spiritual self-care

If you’re pressed for time, try spending 10 minutes reading a book, listening to a podcast or writing/drawing, or you could do a short mindfulness meditation (like one of these four mindfulness meditations for beginners). When you have the time, you could go to a talk/event or join a creative class online or in your local community.

If your teen is looking for free or inexpensive ways to relax and take care of their wellbeing, they can check out our guide on ways to chill for cheap over on our Youth site.