Ask an expert: Safe ways for teens to connect online
In this episode of Likes and Limits, in partnership with Instagram, host (and mum) Pia Miranda explores the benefits and risks of teens sharing their lives on social media. She speaks with teen content creator George Ray and clinical psychologist Nasalifya Namwinga about some of the ways teens can safely build community online.
Watch the episode below, or jump to the ‘I want to know more about…’ section for more resources and tips.
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How to speak to my teen about digital safety
Teens are very comfortable navigating social media and often understand the risks of being online. But if staying safe means giving up their freedom or fun, they may not be on board.
When talking about digital safety with your teen, position yourself as the expert in safety and your teen as the expert in social media. This may help minimise any conflict or resistance to safety tools, since they’ll see that you value their knowledge and want them to contribute to the conversation.
Start by gaining their perspective and validating their online connections. This will help you to get on the same page about what social media means to them. You could ask them:
‘Where do you spend most of your time online and what do you do there?’
‘Can you tell me more about the people you connect with online?’
‘What is it about this space that makes it such a positive experience for you?’
Once you’ve built that foundation and your teen feels comfortable sharing their experiences, gently introduce the topic of safety. Focus on empowering them with the tools they need to make safe and informed choices online.
Get more detailed advice on how to manage digital safety discussions with your teen.
How to monitor my teen’s online accounts
Overseeing all of your teen’s online activities will mean you’re more across any issues relating to their safety; however, it may impact their privacy and independence. Being honest about your concerns and willing to explore different options will help you to find a comfortable middle ground.
Have an open conversation with your teen about why it’s important for you to be involved in their online world. Explain that it's about trust and safety, not control. Nasalifya suggests that teens need a travel guide for digital spaces, which is how you can describe it to your teen.
Agree on what the monitoring will look like – such as you following their accounts, or sharing access to an account so you can monitor their interactions. George and his mum agreed that giving her access to his DMs helped her feel confident about his online safety and her ability to step in to protect him if needed. Framing it as a collaborative approach will help to foster trust and openness, which can lead to a stronger relationship with your teen.
How to deal with cyberbullying and online harassment
Unfortunately, it’s common for teens to experience bullying or harassment online. Teens from marginalised communities are more at risk of experiencing online abuse, despite often finding comfort and community in online spaces.
Being proactive about cyberbullying, rather than reactive, can go a long way in preventing harm. Here are some ways to minimise the risk of your teen being bullied or bullying others.
Regularly remind your teen that they can come to you any time they’ve been hurt by posts, comments or messages on social media.
Role model positive online behaviour and teach your teen how to behave respectfully in digital spaces.
Encourage them to utilise platform safety tools like Restrict, Block, Mute and Report.
Encourage them to have a private account or to be selective about who sees their content. They could use the Close Friends feature on Instagram or adjust post privacy settings on TikTok.
Stay up to date with social media trends so you can understand how they may impact or influence your teen.
Use parental controls to oversee your teen’s activities online.
Empower and uplift your teen by celebrating who they are and what makes them unique. This is especially important for teens from marginalised communities who may be harassed for being themselves.
For more information on how to respond to and report online bullying, visit our collection on cyberbullying and teenagers. You can also learn more about cyberbullying via eSafety.
Image-based abuse and other digital risks
Teens in digital spaces face various risks, including bullying, exposure to harmful content, hacking or other privacy concerns, and image-based abuse.
‘Image-based abuse’ refers to the criminal act of sharing (or threatening to share) another person’s nude or intimate content without their consent. It can also look like threatening to share nude content unless the victim does something in return (known as ‘sextortion’).
It’s important to educate your teen about image-based abuse, and what to think about before engaging in any sexual behaviour online. Send your teen this ReachOut.com resource on things to think about before sharing nudes to open a discussion around image-based abuse and safety online.
If your teen does experience image-based abuse, you can report the incident to eSafety and the social media platform where it occurred. Take It Down is a one-step service that helps to get the content offline, even if it’s shared in multiple places. Learn more about how to respond to image-based abuse in our guide on what to do if your teen’s nudes are shared.
Did you find what you needed?
Yes – Hear from psychologist Jocelyn Brewer on how you can help your child manage their screen time.
I need to know more – Read our factsheet on teens and technology.