What you need to know about the effects of cyberbullying on teens

Chances are, your child spends a lot of time online, so it’s important to make sure you know what to do if online behaviour gets nasty. Learn what cyberbullying is, how cyberbullying impacts young people, and get some tips on how you and your child can deal with it.

In this article, we'll cover:

• What is cyberbullying?

• Common examples of cyberbullying

• The effects of cyberbullying

• How to prevent cyberbullying

• What to do if your teen is being cyberbullied

What is cyberbullying?

When harassment and intimidation happen online, it’s called cyberbullying. This kind of bullying can be challenging since it can be difficult to control and visible to a large number of people. 

Research by Kids Helpline found that the most common age for cyberbullying is the transition period between primary and high school, when young people are around 11 or 12. But it can still happen throughout the teenage years, so it’s important to be aware of what it looks like and how to respond to incidents. 

Unfortunately, cyberbullying is common, with eSafety reporting that 44 per cent of teens have had a negative online experience.

Common examples of cyberbullying

Cyberbullying amongst teens comes in many forms, but the most common are:

• receiving intentionally hurtful text messages, emails or direct messages on social media sites

• people spreading rumours or lies about someone online

• people sending images or videos intended to humiliate or embarrass someone

• people sending threats to someone

• people setting up and using fake online profiles to embarrass or intimidate someone.

Cyberbullying usually happens through social media. While social media can provide many positive experiences for teens, it does come with risks and challenges.

How is it different to other forms of bullying?

Cyberbullying is a form of bullying that takes place in a digital space/online. The effects of cyberbullying are similar to the effects of bullying, but the main difference is that it's much harder to avoid because it can follow your teen home and make them feel like they'll never be able to escape it. 

Cyberbullying can be even more distressing than other forms of bullying because of its very public and uncontrollable nature. For example:

• there’s no limit to who can view or take part in cyberbullying

• it can be very difficult to remove content shared online

• it can be anonymous

• it isn’t limited to a physical space (like a classroom) – it can impact a victim at any time or place (such as home or on the weekends).

It’s hard for people to escape cyberbullying, especially if they use technology in their everyday lives.  Young people may be more likely to bully someone online than they would in real life, because the consequences of their actions aren't always immediately visible.

What are the effects of cyberbullying on young people?

The effects of cyberbullying on teenagers can range from:

• lower school attendance and performance

• increased stress and anxiety

• feelings of isolation and fear

• poor concentration

• depression

• decreased self-esteem and confidence.

In extreme cases, cyberbullying can lead to self-harm or suicide.

Make sure your child knows it's not their fault and they're not alone. There are ways to deal with cyberbullying and ways to manage the effects of cyberbullying.

If you've noticed some warning signs in your teenager's behaviour, you might be worried that they're thinking about suicide. Read more about how to talk to your teen about suicide.

How to prevent cyberbullying from affecting your teenager

Research from eSafety shows that teens are more likely to deal with negative experiences online by themselves rather than talking to friends and family. Taking proactive steps to educate your child about what they can do about cyberbullying can be a good way to ensure they approach you for support when they need it.

A study on the digital lives of teens shows 38 per cent of teens want more online safety information from their parents and carers. Here’s what you can do to help them:

• Ensure that your child’s social media accounts are set to private and that they only accept friend requests from people they know in real life.

• Chat with your teen about not sharing personal information online. For example, passwords, their full name, address, phone number, and what school they go to.

• Chat with your teenager about sharing photos and videos online, especially sensitive or intimate photos. Explain that once they’re online, they can lose control of who sees them pretty quickly, which can lead to name-calling and shaming.

• Ensure they understand the difference between cyberbullying and image-based abuse (IBA). Discuss safe sexting practices and let them know you’re here to support them with any questions, even if they feel awkward or embarrassed.

• Remind them to ignore messages from strangers. The internet can be a great place to make new friends, as long as you’re doing it safely. Watch how Billie keeps herself safe while making friends online. 

• Make sure they know that cyberbullying is wrong and they shouldn’t do it. If your teenager engages in this sort of behaviour online, it may open doors for people to think they have an excuse to cyberbully your child.

• Ensure your child knows how to block, delete or report anyone who is upsetting them online. Get more tips for how to look after your family’s privacy and safety online.

As much as your teen might enjoy being online, getting teens engaged in offline activities is important. That way, if something does happen online, they have other things to do that they enjoy and other friends to talk to.

LGBTQIA+ teens are almost twice as likely to experience cyberbullying. If your teen is a member of the queer community, it’s important to encourage them to be open with you about their experiences, and to regularly ask about their life online. Make sure you both know what support is available and when to escalate an incident or seek extra mental health support.

If you don’t know where to start, you can check out our list of LGBTQIA+ support services. You can also learn more digital safety tips for LGBTQIA+ people from eSafety.

What to do if your child is being cyberbullied

If you know your child is being cyberbullied, the first thing to do is to be supportive and empathetic. Make sure that they know it’s not their fault. Cyberbullying is serious and upsetting, so try not to minimise or trivialise the situation in order to make your child ‘feel better’. Avoid the temptation to stop your child from going online at all; this will more likely result in them not telling you if it occurs again.

Help them manage the emotional impacts of cyberbullying

• Speak to your child and really listen to what they have to say. Thank them for opening up to you, and let them know that you want to help end the bullying.

• Never blame your child for experiencing cyberbullying. The way young people interact online may seem unrelatable to adults, but bullying is never the fault of the person being bullied.

• Acknowledge their feelings, and don’t try to dismiss their experiences, even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal to you.

• Reassure them that there are people who can offer support, whether this is you, their teachers or other professionals and services.

• Help them understand and set boundaries with friends who may be responsible for cyberbullying them.

Report cyberbullying behaviour or material

If any videos, photos or comments are being used to harm your teen, the fastest way to get them removed is to report it. Most sites and apps allow you to report offensive content through settings, help or privacy. Individual posts and comments also have their own settings, which you can usually find by clicking on the three dots near the post or comment to bring up a menu. From there, you can report and block the post/user. If you’re having trouble finding where to report posts and comments on a social platform, check out the eSafety guide.

If you haven’t heard back within 48 hours and the cyberbullying is causing serious harm to your teen’s wellbeing, you can make a report to eSafety.

If you need more information on how to address cyberbullying situations and for general cyberbullying safety tips, read our guide to dealing with online bullying.

What to do if your child feels unsafe

If your child feels unsafe, for example, if someone is threatening them or your family, call the police on 000 to get help. For non-urgent situations, call the Police Assistance Line on 131 444.

If your child is distressed about the bullying, encourage them to speak to a mental health professional or direct them to services that can help. This may be a school counsellor or a service like Kids Helpline.

Frequently asked questions about preventing cyberbullying