Understanding exam stress in teenagers

Final-year exams can be a stressful time for both you and your teen. There are a lot of different factors that might come into play with exam stress, and these will vary from family to family. 

But the great news is, there are many things you can do to help your teenager manage their stress and thrive during this period.

This article can help if you want to:

• learn about the causes of stress at exam time and how these can affect your teen

• spot the signs that your teen isn't coping with exam stress

• help your teen to focus and deal with exam pressure.

What can cause exam stress?

Emotions can run high before, during and after exams. Here are some of the reasons why your teen might feel stressed:

• They feel pressure to achieve certain grades, as they believe this can determine their whole future.

• They fear failure or may get stuck in negative thoughts.

• They compare themselves to their peers. 

• They struggle with their time management skills and feel overwhelmed by their study load.

• They have a lot of competing priorities aside from study, such as work, sports or other commitments.

• They get too distracted from studying by things such as social media or socialising.

• Mental health concerns, such as depression or anxiety, can make it difficult for your teen to focus on or devote as much time to studying.

• Other health issues might affect your teen’s capacity to study.

• The way the education system is structured might not suit your teen.

What are the signs your teen is stressed about exams?

A bit of stress for a short period of time isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, a certain amount of stress can actually motivate your teen to focus and work harder to get things done. A normal amount of pre-exam stress might look like: 

• tiredness that goes away after taking a few days off studying or after exams are over

• butterflies and jitters ahead of the exam

• anxiety or irritability while studying, but feeling better while taking a break and distracting themselves with something else.

The key thing is to recognise when your teen’s stress has tipped over from being a motivating force to something that impacts both their ability to study and other parts of their life. Some of these signs include:

• not making time for much else other than studying

• being withdrawn or disengaged

• a loss of interest in the things they usually enjoy

• changes in their sleeping or eating habits

• skin issues, such as acne breakouts or eczema flares

• nausea or stomach issues

• chest pain or tightness

• increased heart rate and sweating

• feeling grumpy or irritable

• teeth grinding and jaw clenching

• restlessness, including nail biting and fidgeting

• increased smoking, drinking of alcohol, and drug use.

What can you do to support your teen?

Help with time management and concentration

• You can help your teen to focus by suggesting they set aside regular social media–free time and by creating a dedicated study space. For more ideas, read this article on how to help your teen avoid distractions while studying.

• Give them some guidance or feedback on how to make a study schedule.

• Emphasise the importance of maintaining study–life balance for staying energised and preventing burnout.

• Try some of these wellbeing and productivity apps together.

• Make sure they’re eating the right foods to give their brain a boost while studying.

Provide reassurance around their results and future

• Remind your teen that there are different pathway options, no matter what happens, and that people who’ve had setbacks can still go on to achieve great things. Watch these personal stories for inspiration.

• Help them to shift their mindset around uncertainty and about the things they can or can’t control.

• Suggest they check out this guide for Year 12 students on how to handle fear of the future.

Help them to unwind and keep their stress levels down

• Make sure they take regular breaks, don’t consume too much caffeine and get enough sleep. 

• If they’re struggling with sleep, you can work together to improve their sleep hygiene.

• Identify ways of exercising that they will enjoy.

• Read this resource on stress management techniques, which has even more tips for slowing down and feeling more in control.

• Share with them these stories of other young people going through exam stress.

Communicate with your teen and get extra support

• It’s important that your teen knows you’re there for them during stressful times. You can learn about how to have great conversations here.

• Talking about mental health with your teen will help you to understand when they might need extra support beyond their family and friends.

• Find out what support is offered at their school. Aside from their teachers, the school may have a counsellor or other dedicated wellbeing staff.

• Visit their GP if your teen needs extra mental health support, or see if peer work could be a suitable option for them.

Manage your own stress

• Get mum-of-three Stephanie’s tips on how to survive Year 12 as a parent or carer.

• Get one-on-one support from our parents and carers coaching service.

• Make time for your own self-care. You can do this by getting active, doing something creative or simply giving yourself time to do nothing. Find more ideas for self-care in this article.

Year 12 exams can be an intense period of time for your teen. But your being there to cheer on and support them through the ups and downs can do a lot to help them manage their stress levels and keep them feeling positive about life after school.